I'm Wrong If...?

And explain why please :)

I think I’ve made it clear I am indeed…No Angel *cue Beyonce, but bring it in slowly*. I make mistakes, I do bad on purpose, I am human. Here are an assortment of actions I have felt the consequences for over my lifetime. My name isn’t “Carma” for shits and giggles, I get back what I put out very quickly. My boomerang’s arc is small. But sometimes I don’t understand what I’ve done, so please help me.

I’m wrong if I speak before you tell me it’s okay?

I’m wrong if you yell at me and, like the child I am, I react by pantsing you in public?

I’m wrong if I throw away your dreams for me to pursue my own?

I’m wrong if I suck my fingers and rub my nipples to soothe myself to sleep? What about when I chew holes in the neck line of my shirts to replace it, that’s wrong too?

I’m wrong if I eat fresh homemade spaghetti and garlic bread on the train to work? Even if I haven’t eaten all day?

I’m wrong if you leave me in this big ass house for sophomore year Halloweekend and share it with everyone else by having a spoooooooky party?

I’m wrong if I confront you for talking to me sideways? Okay what if you was talking to me backwards? Upside down? I’m still wrong?

I’m wrong if I make you feel the pains you put me through? What if I just think about doing it, is that wrong too?

I’m wrong for talking about my sex life with a regular tone on public transportation? I only yell when I say “girlllllll”.

I’m wrong if I’m not fuckin’ wit you from the jump, before you get the chance to take your toll? I’m still wrong if my intuition was right and I see you hurt someone around me?

I’m wrong if I expect you to hold the sanctity of the space we’ve all worked to create in high esteem, even if you’re a man that cosplays as a Good One™?

I’m wrong if I count cards?

I’m wrong for looking at your hand? Nah, but what if you got it out for the whole damn table to see?

I’m wrong if I switch cards on the low?

I’m wrong if I celebrate my wins?

I’m wrong if I rejoice in your losses?

I’m wrong if the deaconess’s voice lull’s me softly into sleep? Or is that only wrong if I suck my fingers to help drift away too?

I’m wrong if old men in the house of the Lord get turned on by my prepubescent body? I’m even more wrong if that happens in our house instead of the church house?

I’m wrong for putting ketchup in my spaghetti? Bruhhh, it’s literally tomato sauce…

I’m wrong for menstruating in my spaghetti, so you never leave my side?

I’m wrong if I want to leave yours?

I’m wrong if I think my drunkness wasn’t consent? What if I was blacking out?

I’m wrong if you said yes the second time I asked you?

I’m wrong for letting metro boom all in the speakers with my windows down on a sunny 75 day at a red light? Am I still wrong if the person next to me sings along?

I’m wrong if men don’t make me feel safe?

I’m even more wrong when they do?

I’m wrong if I queer slowly as I self-discover?

I’m wrong if I get an eyebrow piercing before I have been discovered? Does that make me a cosplayer?

I’m wrong if I wear the African print without knowing what region it comes from? What if I do it during Kwanzaa?

I’m wrong if I call you out for what you did or I’m wrong if I don’t? Both?

I’m wrong if I don’t care when that cat meows outside my bedroom door cause she’s hungry? You want some food, I want some sleep.

I’m wrong if I want a loyal band of followers who back me up regardless of my wrongs because they think I’m their spiritual savior?

I’m wrong if I tell you it hurts?

I’m wrong if I tell you I like it?

I’m wrong if I tell you what I’d prefer instead?

I’m wrong if I don’t say anything?

I’m wrong if I forget to whisper sweet nothings to my plants?

I’m wrong for being happy that you died instead of her?

I’m wrong if I conjure spirits through means that you were taught to see as devilish?

I’m wrong if I have a loud conversation with a missionary in a quiet coffee shop just to make him fall in love with me?

I’m wrong for thinking more about people loving me than loving other people?

I’m wrong for dancing to R.Kelly when it plays in public?

I’m wrong if I choose to watch things die slowly instead of helping when it’s possible? What if it’s just a full rotation of life’s cycle, am I still wrong?

I’m wrong for using a whole roll of toilet paper to blow my nose when I’m sick?

I’m wrong for critiquing someone based on the standards they hold for everyone around them?

Please, tell me if I’m wrong, but I need to know why. I really need to know why.

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I want to say thank you so much for reading this and thank you to myself for taking the space to be open in the way that I can.

If you enjoyed this piece please read my other shit! It’ll be fun I promise.