I’ve been in the situation too many times. The last man I had to physically push away from me because we were intimate once he felt that I was giving him my consent again. Ugh! Thank you for writing this it’s what I have been feeling for a while. It has made me a bit avoidant of any kind of intimacy at the moment because why the fuck do I have to teach a grown ass consent? It’s getting out of hand. I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a toddler. I don’t care how wet my pussy is or how great the vibe is. The only consent is my verbal and explicit consent! I’ve decided that I don’t care if it kills “the mood” I will tell someone I don’t want that or to get off of me. I remember I went on a random date with this guy from hinge and it was going pretty well until he tried to kiss me and I physically turned away. He looked shocked and then asked “can I kiss you?” And I said “No”. After that he was so upset with me but I didn’t care. I don’t know where your lips been, I wasn’t even feeling you to kiss you. It’s definitely scary sometimes but I just accept I have to right to protect myself and the autonomy to choose who does what to me. Sorry for the rant🤣 🫶🏾
Don’t be sorry! I’m grateful for you sharing your words. This shit is tiredddddd. I’m ready to move past teaching grown adults how to use their words and ask for what they want. I’m trying to approach it moving forward as a “clothes mouths don’t get fed” situation, but the added element of physical domination is scary. I DONT CARE IM A BIG GIRL!
Thank you for sharing this. And that poll in the start was amazing. It’s frustrating how many of us have gone through this. I hope more people see this and realize that consent should be unambiguous.
In my last journal entry, I talked about my first time with a woman and how it was so different from the times I had sex with men. She kept asking me questions like “do you want this?”, “ is this okay?” and it hit me then that no man had ever asked me if I actually wanted to have sex with them. They assumed that because i returned their kisses, it automatically meant that I wanted to sleep with them. It has been very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that most of the sex I’ve had with men was literally just rape because I genuinely didn’t want to sleep with those men but I was too scared to say No in the moment. Thank you for sharing this❤️
Yes it really can be so different. There is a different sort of tenderness that exists with the way women engage in sex. I often wonder if it’s because of the harshness their bodies are treated with in the world? I’m sorry to hear you’ve also been through this, but thank you so much for sharing.
this all sounds very reminiscent of quite literally every single sexual experience i’ve had in my life. you’ve put my feelings and hurt into words that i could never say. i wouldn’t say i’m on any particular abstinence or celibacy journey right now, but i’m definitely at a point where i’m not moved to have sex with anybody who cannot award me basic and consistent humanity and consent, inside and outside of the bedroom. thank you. i’ll find the words eventually 🙏🏾🤍
This is one of my favorite posts I’ve read on here so far, your style is so readable and your ideas are so strong. I wonder what the future of consent will look like… so far to go
I’ve been in the situation too many times. The last man I had to physically push away from me because we were intimate once he felt that I was giving him my consent again. Ugh! Thank you for writing this it’s what I have been feeling for a while. It has made me a bit avoidant of any kind of intimacy at the moment because why the fuck do I have to teach a grown ass consent? It’s getting out of hand. I sometimes feel like I’m talking to a toddler. I don’t care how wet my pussy is or how great the vibe is. The only consent is my verbal and explicit consent! I’ve decided that I don’t care if it kills “the mood” I will tell someone I don’t want that or to get off of me. I remember I went on a random date with this guy from hinge and it was going pretty well until he tried to kiss me and I physically turned away. He looked shocked and then asked “can I kiss you?” And I said “No”. After that he was so upset with me but I didn’t care. I don’t know where your lips been, I wasn’t even feeling you to kiss you. It’s definitely scary sometimes but I just accept I have to right to protect myself and the autonomy to choose who does what to me. Sorry for the rant🤣 🫶🏾
Don’t be sorry! I’m grateful for you sharing your words. This shit is tiredddddd. I’m ready to move past teaching grown adults how to use their words and ask for what they want. I’m trying to approach it moving forward as a “clothes mouths don’t get fed” situation, but the added element of physical domination is scary. I DONT CARE IM A BIG GIRL!
Thank you for sharing this. And that poll in the start was amazing. It’s frustrating how many of us have gone through this. I hope more people see this and realize that consent should be unambiguous.
100% none of us should be subjected to the unexpressed desires of others
In my last journal entry, I talked about my first time with a woman and how it was so different from the times I had sex with men. She kept asking me questions like “do you want this?”, “ is this okay?” and it hit me then that no man had ever asked me if I actually wanted to have sex with them. They assumed that because i returned their kisses, it automatically meant that I wanted to sleep with them. It has been very hard for me to come to terms with the fact that most of the sex I’ve had with men was literally just rape because I genuinely didn’t want to sleep with those men but I was too scared to say No in the moment. Thank you for sharing this❤️
Yes it really can be so different. There is a different sort of tenderness that exists with the way women engage in sex. I often wonder if it’s because of the harshness their bodies are treated with in the world? I’m sorry to hear you’ve also been through this, but thank you so much for sharing.
this all sounds very reminiscent of quite literally every single sexual experience i’ve had in my life. you’ve put my feelings and hurt into words that i could never say. i wouldn’t say i’m on any particular abstinence or celibacy journey right now, but i’m definitely at a point where i’m not moved to have sex with anybody who cannot award me basic and consistent humanity and consent, inside and outside of the bedroom. thank you. i’ll find the words eventually 🙏🏾🤍
I’m sorry this resonates and I’m glad I could resonate with you in comfort. No one can rush you to find the words.
Thank you. Not a lot of people are writing about this and I truly appreciate it.
This is one of my favorite posts I’ve read on here so far, your style is so readable and your ideas are so strong. I wonder what the future of consent will look like… so far to go